The Copywriting Board

What's your favorite headline and why?

Mine's become...


Because of the 2 curiosity elements entwined with the big benefit and news. 

*Wife of Famous Movie Star.  Which famous movie star? 

*Does Not Contain An Illegal Sexual Stimulant.  This must be some hot stuff.  And what's the story here?

I wish I had a favorite. My taste changes daily. But that IS a great one.

I've used the same "swears under oath" thing in a different way before and it works.

Hey Vin.  Let me ask you something.

Do you find that writing good headlines out by hand helps you write good headlines?

The "Swears under oath" template has been used for numerous different headlines...and quite frankly, I don't see anything special about it.

For me, my favorite headline can be any one of those that I wrote - talk about being biased. ;D

Jason,

I don't. I did the hand copying of letters for a while and I do think that works. But for headlines I don't think it means a thing. I DO think reading them out loud is a must. I read classics out loud, get the cadence... the breathing... And I've swiped cadence before.

Thanks for this reply and the long one from the other thread just now Vin.  Much appreciated good sir. ;D

I know your time's valuable, so I'll do something in return and send you something cool if you PM me.  Brian Keith Voiles e-mailed it to me earlier this year.  I was looking at it today.  I think you'll like it. Unfortunately I can't attach it to this forum because I don't think he wants many people to see it.

Yeah, that's one that would get me reading, though I'd hate myself for it. ;)

Hmm... kinda hard to pin it down to one...

However, here are some that I really like...

1. Do You Have The Courage To Earn Half A Million Dollars A Year?  (There's a qualifying "challenge" there...)

2. Do you make these mistakes in English?  (Flexible - you can substitute just about anything for "English")

3. Generous, Creative Businessman Wants To Find A Hot, Sexy Woman With A Good Sense Of Humor
(All the bells and whistles are jammed into this ad ... even "not so hot" women would read this ... after all, who can resist a generous man ;))

Might come up with more later...

Ciao!

I like this one:

"How A Stuttering Child, Traumatized by His Own Mother's Murder...
Discovered the "Secret Formula" to Achieving Nearly Any Goal!"

It tells a story --- how the writer went from a tragic beginning to success in life.  Certainly makes you want to read more, that's for sure.

Melvin

Well, one of my faves from the NY Post is:

"Read This Or Die" - Jim Rutz.

Why? 'cause it says a lot in just 4 words and it worked.

That's a good one Jason. I must read that copy to see what it's all about. I guess that's the whole idea of a headline, eh? Well, this one definitely works.

Hear Suze
Get Rich

On the cover of the Learning Annex. Plain simple message that makes a huge promise. It also summarizes just about everything Dan Kennedy taught me about message. Make it sound fast and easy. Doesn't get much easier than sitting in a chair at a seminar and money falls from the ceiling into your lap.

Truthiness? Ehh, they had to find out at the seminar. I'm sure she could show how saving $200 starting in your 20's you'd have a million dollars by retirement. Unless you plunked it all into Bear Stearns or AIG.

Cheers

Funny, I hear these questions all the time, but headlines don't really stick with me. I don't have favorite headlines, either they work or they don't.

One of my prospects asked what copywriter/marketer I follow. I don't really "follow" anyone. I learn from everyone and then do my own "thang."

I do find headlines more difficult to write than the body copy. I write several before I decide on just one. For me, copy is the easy part. Headlines...they take a lot of work.

Jason, that's a great headline. 

It scores very high according to Gary Bencivenga's I = B + C formula.  According to Gary, the "level of interest is directly proportional to the presence of two factors: benefit and curiosity."

He talks about it more here ...

http://bencivengabullets.com/bullets.asp?id=23

And he gives several other great Gary Halbert headlines!

Melvin

Well Melvin, you are just the freakin' man.

That's a great formula to remember.

...And I like this headline on the list:


haha

I've never been fond of this advice.

Wanna know what I think is even better?

Write some letters and stick a damn order button at the bottom.

Sure, writing by hand may help you get into the groove and develop some of the writers mojo.  However, that letter you copy ain't gonna put any money in your pocket. That only comes from writing promos, not copying others stuff by hand. And I'm more concerned with developing my own voice, not copying someone else's.

I remember when I heard Halbert recommend I write out his letters.  I did it for about 4 minutes, and then was like.... "Screw that, I'll just write a damn letter that has potential of making me some money".

Despite my anti stance on writing letters out by hand, I do understand how others may need to do this to get going.  Personally I just thought it was a waste of time and a big road block getting in the way of me pocketing some quick cash.

Oh yeah, my favorite headline may be...

[/b][/size]

Thought it might be worth pointing out that you've had one heck of a life bro =)

The "writing" advice works for those who haven't sold face-to-face before... or haven't done a whole lot of it.  With a past as active as yours has been and as diversified in experience, I can totally get why you'd find it a waste of time.

But me, a 22 year old kid from the suburbs... I found it very much worth my while.  It's all about where you're coming from I guess.

Yes, I love the whole story around this Halbert headline. Mal Emery often tells it, from creating the product to the stampede it caused when it first ran. Absolutely brilliant stuff.

Personally, I don't have a favorite. Some of Clayton Makepeace's really grab me, especially the stuff for the financial markets.

And I love the David Ogilvy headline about the Rolls Royce -- "At 60 miles an hour the loudest noise in this new Rolls Royce comes from the electric clock".

Quite often I'll go through my headline swipe files (I have a lot!) and that'll get me going on creating a new one, but few spring to mind at other times.

I'm looking at page 128 of the OCT/NOV 2008 issue of Mother Earth News.

Here is what I'm seeing:


Beneath this headline there are 3 pictures, one explains "how it works", one has a little girl with her hand on the heater with a cat sitting on top of the heater and above that is a pic of a woman with a kid on her lap and dog next to her, the caption above the pic says "Never be cold again".

Why is this my CURRENT favorite?

Because it probably is, right NOW, the most (certainly one of the most) run and ciculated ads in America. In Mother Earth News, PARADE magazine, and in just about every major newspaper in the country. It has been running for the last few years and has pulled in tens of millions of dollars in sales...and for me, it is all about RESULTS. AND they have a file cabinet full of glowing and warm fuzzy testimonials on the product too.

A great headline (only a part, albeit an important one, of the overall ad) gets passerbys to STOP and read, and then to BUY.

This ad is selling a 297 dollar (or 397) specialty product. That is a lot of money for a space ad to try to get, yet it does.  Millions of dollars have been spent running this ad. It WORKS.

Now, if you want, you tell me why? 

Could it be because you had a hand in writing it and that you work for them (or did).   ;D

For the record, NO, it's not one of my ads. YES, I am under contract to the company.

You posted one of the full page newspaper versions of the ad. The reason I like it is because I do know how much money this campaign has pulled in and the number of sales made. PHENOMENAL!!

This is part of a MULTI-CHANNEL campaign, and we don't discuss these very much on the forums and boards, but as copywriters or budding copywriters, you should know about ALL of the opportunity.

This full page ad is just one of the ads written by several people. There are direct mail pieces and even a magalog being tested against the controls. There are radio ads and TV infomercials, all have involved copywriters. If anyone comes up with something that looks promising, it will probably get tested. Hard to beat such a great control, however.

They use every marketing channel to the max, and every effort requires COPY.

In an old post at the other forum we briefly discussed BRANDING of ads, and this ad has a certain look and feel to it, and you'll find that many of their ads have the same look and feel. So, they have in effect "branded" their advertising.

That doesn't mean it is the ONLY format, the writer is always free to test something new.

We advise the noobs and the beginner's to READ all they can from the old masters and in some ways I'm in agreement with JaMo on this...best bet is to write something and try to sell something as fast as you can. OF course, it is my opinion, that nothing beats a few months of face-to-face commission only selling to give you the salesmanship in print insights so many masters have.

I also want to call attention to the design and layout, which is often pooh-poohed by some copywriters who feel the copy is the most important thing...it may be, however, the look and the layout may be the tipping point factor, you only know by running tests.

And this ad is selling like the proverbial gangbusters, BUT, there are many tests in force to try to improve it and make it even better. I assure you the copywriter who wrote this piece is not sitting on his laurels waiting to be knocked off, he's got several of his own versions in the testing phase.

Now that everyone can see the ad, what is the secret of it's success? Any ideas?  gjabiz

My favorite:

It's simple and it sucks you in.  (Also one of my favorite ads)

Hi gjabiz,


 The proof in this ad is right off the bat, the headline reads"AS HEARD ON PAUL HARVEY NEWS". If it was heard on the Paul Harvey news it must be legitimate(over 50 years experience)... I notice it didn't say as mentioned or as advertised...The copywriter used as heard which is much more of a human nature phrase.

 According to Wikipedia "His listening audience is estimated at 22 million people a week" thats the group that is primarily being targeted. It's not the few million that actually heard the original  broadcast(and bought), but the ones that missed it. You can just imagine being one of the people that didn't hear the broadcast, you would be wondering what you missed--and read on.

Just a guess

Chris

A combination of factors, no doubt.  Besides the authority trigger, the benefits are huge:

• cut heating bill by 50%
• even heat
• doesn't get hot
• can't start a fire
• won't reduce humidity or oxygen

Also the pictures are very helpful:

• The "How It Works" box demonstrates the product (shows).
• The picture of the happy family with the girl right next to the unit and the cat sitting on it proves the "doesn't get hot" benefit claim.

Melvin

Wow.  That really is a great headline.  How did it convert?

I'm not sure what you mean when you say convert...however, this ad has pulled in tens of millions of dollars with no end in sight. It "converts" well enough that on any given day it could be in 100 newspapers and magazines.

They wouldn't spend that kind of money unless it was converting gangbusters.

Some industry insiders believe this ad (when finished) will be one of the top 10 grossing ads of all times and it may be close to that already.

It is the ideal "template" if you are selling a specialty product via direct response in TODAY'S market place.  They simply don't get any better than this ad, so study it carefully.

gjabiz

I'm thinking about buying one of those.
That ad runs in my local paper.
I also got a email from Ken McCarthy praising the heater.

to start with a GREAT product. This little heater is great. I'm not a heat expert, but I do know this; this promotion keeps working because people come back and buy in multiples too.

Start with a GREAT product, flesh out all of the benefits (this ad does a great job turning features into benefits too)...and use a good LAYOUT and DESIGN (yes that is important too)...add a "loved" celeb if possible...and let the dough roll in.

gjabiz

PS. I keep one of mine in the computer room, always comfy, never stuffy.

There is a ton of benefits -- something for nearly everyone!

Here are some of the things that I pulled from it:

From the pictures:
never be cold again (subtext: we care about you)
how it works (subtext: we're not afraid to show you
we're honest upfront and not trying to trick you --
and we respect your intelligence to understand -
as well as a nice appeal to the logical mind.  Comments other
posters made about the contents of the picture also are spot on.)

Headline, starting after the "Paul Harvey" part:
Famous (have you heard of this?
you must be out ofthe loop if you haven't)

portable heater (psst,, apt owners, mobile people,
this is for you)

EdenPURE (say it loud & proud!)

cut your heating bill by 50% (obvious benefit)

is now much better
(hey, we're assuming you are already interested
that it can save you 50% -- and just when you
thought it couldn't get any better -- we've improved
it -- showing WE aren't sitting on our laurels, either. If you heard of us before and ignored us, maybe you should take a second look now.)


heats a large room in minutes
(so you can turn the heat off when you are out
of the house -- or great for places that don't
get used often -- like Churches and halls and things)

even heat wall to wwall and floor to ceiling
(for those folks up in the balconies...doesn't matter where you plug it in, either.)

does not get hot, cannot start a fire, and
will not reduce humidity or oxygen

(well the beneifts of the first two are obvious
-- for
children,
those who might fall asleep
-- humidity or oxygen
guess there's been some research here ...
reduction in humidity could cause such things
as increase in nose bleeds,dry skin etc.
reduction in oxygen -- my guess is there's another
group out there to whom this is important --
people on oxygen, obviously; asthmatics, perhaps;
other people with breathing issues.)

The comments on Paul Harvey's endorsement by previous posters
have clearly outlined the major benefits of his endorsement.  He probably is one of the most trusted men in America, avuncular, not unlike Walter Cronkite.  I've heard that his endorsement provides immense selling power.

This is hardly a comprehensive commentary -- but some of the things that stood out to me.  There's a strong sense of the subliminal, of subtexts, within the headline that I very much like.  A nice combination of playing on emotional & logical.

Very powerful -- and yes, I've been tempted to get one myself.

Live JoyFully!

Judy Kettenhofen, Profit Strategist/Copywriter
NextDay Copy

Speaking of cadence...the breathing...

I was stunned the other day when someone called me "Judy Copenhagen" ...

I thought it was simply brilliant.  Exactly the same cadence of my last name.  After running around with my last name for over a half a century, I was struck how I'd never heard this particular phonic "translation."
(For those who don't know, my last name is "Kettenhofen").

I'm still quite intrigued ...

And thanks, Vin.  One of these days when I get my copy book written, this is an important piece that I want to include...the cadence...the breathing...I'm now earnestly trying to pull some of the pieces together, and you've reminded me of an important one.

Live JoyFully!

Judy Kettenhofen, Profit Strategist/Copywriter
NextDay Copy

My two favorites of all time are these:





As an honorable mention, there is the title of my book. It is a headline of sorts...it headlines the cover of the book.

"What Not To Do In Bed"
(I defy you to NOT read the first line of that body copy)

"The Insult That Made a Man Out of Mac"
(You just KNOW there's a good story ahead. And that the good guy wins)

"Free Money"
(After 3 insertions in the NYT, Chemical Bank had to pull the ad because they were overwhelmed with applications)

"Think Small"
(and most of the Volkswagen campaign from the 60's)

"We're No. 2. We try harder."
(led into excellent "reason why" copy for Avis)

"At 60 mph..." the Rolls Royce ad is also a favorite.

A lot of the stuff I like, especially from the 60's is a combination of a great headline combined with a great visual.

"Headless Body in Topless Bar" is also a long time favorite. The New York Post is usually excellent for headlines. Other NYPost classics I like are "Ford to City: Drop Dead", and recently, "Ho No!" (after Spitzer's calamity)

I've read that the copywriter in question was not the originator of that headline -- but rather that it came from a testimonial.  Or, if not a testimonial, from an interview with a customer.

I was recently contacted by a successful graphic/web designer based upon my copywriting website.  I'm not going to flaunt it.  If you're interested, the website is http://www.NextDay-Copy.com .  He seemed quite enamored of the "headline."

Live JoyFully!

Judy Kettenhofen, Profit Strategist/Copywriter
NextDay Copy

"Copywriting Forum
Disaster
Ends With Wedding"

I like to create my own attention heads for fun.

There are many good headlines out there.

"Get Rich Slowly"

I like this one from Gary Bencivenga. Clever.